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You think you can betray me?! I'm PDA Autistic...

Updated: Jul 4, 2023

My brain is my own WORST enemy!

These contradiction-style videos are, I guess, a signature of mine? The truth is, my brain is a constant contradiction and it often drives me bananas... so in true Chandler Bing fashion, I'll be using humor to cope. I've had some people ask me for the contradictions I list in these videos and even though I write them out beforehand, I've not put them anywhere else... until now. I may go back and retroactively add some previous videos with the text, but for now, I at least want to start somewhere.

And since all roads eventually lead to PDA for me, this seemed like a good place to start. Without further ado, PDA contradictions, part 1

  1. I desperately need a routine to function but the moment I put the expectation on myself to adhere to the routine, I want to blow the whole thing up. Don't call it a routine? Totally fine. Label it and I’m fucked.

  2. I can’t stand spontaneity and surprises but it’s the only way I get things done these days - spontaneity and novelty are kind of like cousins, no? Clarifying statement: safe food stimmy snacks are the exception

  3. I don't really care about sex unless I care about someone at which point I definitely don't want to have sex when it’s expected of me but will absolutely use it in the reverse as an equalizing behavior or to assert physically autonomy when emotional autonomy is threatened.

  4. Seemingly innocuous questions trigger me but I’m the first to ask 100 clarifying questions. Like, don't ask me how I’m doing bc there are a million ways I could answer and I’m so stressed trying to figure out the way you want me to answer it, so I will need to ask you 100 questions to both regulate myself and clarify what you meant when you asked.

  5. I function best when cohabitating but have a survival drive to keep me away from any situation where I may not be able to extricate myself from others which includes anything legally binding like leases and mortgages, and I won’t even talk about marriage now that it looks like no-fault divorce is another target because my god, no.


Check out the video originally from my TikTok account: @maybeitsmemaybeitsaudhd


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